Wednesday, July 30, 2008


So sometimes I wonder why stuff is so cool. You know - stuff. I like "stuff."

Stuff you can buy. But is it wrong? Why would there be so much cool stuff if we weren't meant to enjoy it? I don't worship "stuff," but sometimes I feel guilty for liking it. It's hard to find the balance between being a good steward of the resources I have (which is not a lot at this point in my life) and wanting to have "stuff."

This may sound stupid, but its actually something I think about a lot.

I do realize that I probably wouldn't have to (ok, definitely wouldn't have to) worry so much about my shortage of finances if I didn't like to have certain things...but I have trouble finding the balance between never buying anything I like and buying whenever I feel that I really want something.

OK, that was all really dumb. Probably why I don't blog a lot - because I end up rambling for a while and then look back and wonder what the heck I just said.

My brain is a strange place. Colorful, but strange.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Slow Dancing...

Wow. So there it is. I made it back to blogging in 5 months. Sadly, that's good for me. I'm working on it...working on it.

Too many thoughts in this head...and I'd like to say not enough time...but pretty much I'd just like to say them out loud and have them magically show up on this screen. I know there are machines for that. I'd also like to speak one of those into existence in my room. So. Now that it's confirmed that I'm lazy...

What's going on...I find myself consistently trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing. I mean in life. I know where I'm going...well...not literally...but you know what I mean. I just know that I feel I'm pushing my life off into this box called "One year from now." Don't get me wrong - it's a sweet box. better be. Because all my chips are in that box. Even though I have no idea what that box looks like, where it's located, and if I even like the box.

Sometimes I like talking in metaphors more than reality because reality makes me realize how is. But it's my life. I'm still smiling about it :) I'm still eating well, living comfortably, have great friends around me, plenty going on...but its that whole thing I do for 40+ hours a week that really gets me. I hope and pray that I find some inspiration, leading to some job, where I can use these "talents" I have. Unfortunately, my known talents include: eating candy, blunt yet witty comments, laughter, taking random trips with friends, spontaneity, and a small dose of ADD. But really, I have a lot of talents, I just don't know how to bundle them up and pin a job title on top of them.

Enough about THAT. Holy crap, that's boring. Hugely important, yet boring.

So I have like 9 months of school left for my MBA. Not even sure how I'm doing in it...I must be doing OK. I hate school...I really just like making fun of my professors via text message to Patrick during class. I also like crossing off the month on my calendar when I get done with class for the weekend. Small victories.

I went to Ohio last week with Danielle...on a whim...because she asked me a week in advance if I wanted to fly up and get her car and drive it back. It was a lot of work, but it made for some hilarious times and tons of fun. I wouldn't trade that time for anything in retrospect - because I'm still laughing out loud. You need to go to my facebook and check out the pictures if you can. Money. When that girl and I get together, there's always a lot of laughing going on.

Christian and Lauren got married last weekend in Chicago. I got to stand next to him during the wedding. Yeah. I cried. I'm that guy. But it also made me realize that I never want to settle for anything less than the perfect love. The love that no person can look at you and deny that you were knit together in your two mothers' wombs with each other in mind. Pretty awesome to think about. Kinda sad to think that I haven't found anything like that, but it gives me hope that maybe someday...

I think I should stop now because I've already written a ton, but lately I've really been inspired to try to capture the moments of my life in here so that I don't lose them forever. I really do have a lot of deep thoughts go through this head on a regular basis...believe it. This is step 1...ok this is like step 75. And I walk like I have 1 leg. Don't hate me.

For now...I'm just slow dancing. But I'm hoping this room isn't burning.